How to Handle Being Hit On at Weddings

{Quick note - the series on social media has been shelved for a bit.  I will definitely still post those, but have decided to postpone them for a couple different reasons.}

Today I wanted to answer a question I received from Monica, a wedding planner in Milwaukee, as it is one I am asked about quite often.  It's a delicate subject but one that many female consultants (and probably some of the males) face when planning: getting hit on at weddings. Monica wrote a blog post about it, which you can read here, and then here is her followup question:

I was wondering if you might be able to share a bit more insight on the topic I covered last Friday ("Must I have this dance?"). Though I made light of it in my post, I am at a serious loss as to how to respond to this situation (besides the obvious "no" of course). What exactly do you say as a professional? I'd love some specific ideas if you have any.

Whether it's the open bar or the romantic feelings a wedding stirs up, getting hit on at a wedding is bound to happen and it is important to handle it appropriately when it does.  I am single, but I wear a wedding ring at events and while it cuts down on some of the advances, they still happen.

The first thing you should do is set up employee protocol for interacting with guests.  My staff know that they are not guests and that this wedding is not their party.  Flirting, drinking, dancing with guests, and exchanging numbers is prohibited, which helps with not leading the guys on.  It's not hard to contact us, so my philosophy is that if some guest decides he absolutely has to take one of my employees out to dinner lest he live a meaningless life where he never took risks, then he can call our offices and ask her out after the wedding is over and she is off the clock.

Generally, any advances made are in direct correlation to the open bar and amount of liquid courage a guest has in them and they are usually innocuous.  While the pick-up lines used may be crude (I can't repeat some of the things said to me and my staff), they usually don't go any further than just being annoying.  A firm no and a look worthy of the ice queen are usually enough to deter any wedding-induced crushes.

That said, it is important to be smart because typically these guests are strangers and you don't know what they are capable of.  Use some common sense and don't let yourself or your employees be alone with a male guest for whatever reason.  It is also very important to remain professional and not make any snarky or ego-crushing comments, no matter how tempted you may be.  You don't know how this person reacts while inebriated and the last thing you want to do is trigger an anger issue, putting yourself, your staff and other guests at greater risk.  If you truly feel in danger, call the venue's security and have them keep an eye on the guest in question, walk you to your car or another part of the property if needed, etc.

This is one of those aspects of wedding planning that is an unglamorous reality and not one that you can get rid of altogether.  While it is generally an occurrence that can be chalked up to a mere annoyance, it is also one that can cross the dangerous line into harassment.  Be professional and use common sense when faced with these types of situations.