Tuesday, August 25, 2009

5 Ways to Keep Your Sanity

Editor's Note: This post was originally published in April 2009. Some conversations with colleagues recently have prompted me to republish it

As I've been traveling for the Blogging Bootcamps, I've noticed a trend among the wedding professionals in each city.  Perhaps trend is the wrong word - it's more of a vibe or an attitude. Everyone seems really tired. Not physically tired, though some are that too, but emotionally tired.  I'd totally be lying if I didn't include myself in this camp as well.  Even on Twitter, people seem to be passing a cynicism-flavored kool-aid around.

It's easy, especially when the future seems so uncertain given the current economy, to become jaded, to let annoyances pile up, to react to the short-term instead of think through things strategically with the long-term in mind.  It can also be difficult to focus on your work when the reactionary decisions of your competitors, such as slashing prices (not a good idea, by the way) affect the conversations your clients have with you.

The downturn in the economy is real, and anyone who says it is just in your head is not very good at math.  The bright side is that it is not the end of the world.  History repeats itself and there is a light at the end of this uncertain tunnel.  If you can keep your mind and your energy renewed during this time, you will be able to fight burning out and getting a bit jaded with the industry.  You'll also be able to more clearly see the opportunities that are in front of you right now (and there are plenty of opportunities, recession or not).

Here are some tips on how to do that:

1. A Gratitude Journal
I've talked about these before, and I believe in them so much.  Take time each day to jott down three things you are grateful for.  You can do this with regular pen and paper or with the gratitude app on the iphone.  Yes, we all like to have our mini pity parties and no one is grateful 100% of time, but you can't keep that up 24/7.  Spending a few minutes each day focusing on what you do have (and it doesn't need to be material) instead of what you don't have will help shape your outlook.

2. Watching What You Write
While you may take note of a few things you're thankful for, it sort of negates the entire process if you then turn around and use Twitter or your Facebook status update to vent about every little annoyance. 

3. Unsubscribe from the Dramacolypse
While you should have people in your life who are willing to be REAL and not happy-go-lucky 24/7, you should also be careful not to surround yourself with people who are cynical dream-stoppers.  Sometimes this doesn't even mean people you meet in person, but can also include the blogs you read and the people you follow on Twitter. If someone gets under your skin or lives in your head "rent-free", as my friend Terrica calls it, unsubscribe or unfollow them.  Real drama is your friend who is going through chemo.  Unnecessary drama is the inane stuff people make up on Twitter because they are intimidated by other people's success.

4. Declutter and Streamline
The scientific law, Occam's razor, suggests that the simplest solution is usually the best one.  Getting simple, however, is not easy.  It requires being willing to let things go and to checking your ego at the door so that you can make things work for you without worrying about what everyone else is doing.  Take some time to evaluate what things or processes you can cut or simplify in your life or workflow.  This isn't a license to be selfish, but it is a way to evaluate what you need to do to simplify your life and your business.  What areas can you get simpler in?

5. Breathe
Create margin for your life. The easiest way to do this is to create some boundaries in how you work and when you are available to people. There will be some days that you have to work late and reply to emails at 2:00 am, but if this is a daily occurrence, it's time to slow down.  Slowing down can be difficult because it often means giving up the facade of power. It is also easy to justify our propensity toward a frenetic pace by using the excuse that we love our work. You should love your work. You should also love yourself and your family enough to keep your mental, emotional and physical health in check. Slow down. Go to sleep. Get some exercise. Take a sabbath day or afternoon to renew your mind and spirit (it doesn't have to be Saturday or Sunday). As the saying goes, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure".

What tips do you have for staying sane when the going gets tough?

20 comments:

Ardent Photography said...

I love #3. (Unsubscribe from the Dramacolypse). I recently distanced myself from a "cynical dream-stoppers" who was an online friend. I'm feeling so much better!

Debbie Orwat said...

This is one of my very favorite posts on the Smart Planner. Thanks for keeping it real and reminding us to take a break.

Wendy said...

Great post, Liene. I've been de-cluttering my surroundings..both in my living space and in my work space. It has made a big difference in how I feel lately!

Precious Nuptials & Destinations said...

Amen!

I can't get with the twitter and facebook updates. My mother always kept me grounded, and I try to revisit the little things she said every time I find myself veering off.

My tip: Stay true to yourself. Focus on broadcasting less. Redirect the energy towards doing something good. Make it a genuine habit and we'll all be better in the end.

cHill Weddings, LLC said...

Great suggestions! I'm going to go look for that app now. I've already started to unsubscribe to people on facebook who complain too much as well, and I'm already starting to feel much lighter. I always make sure I have evenings off at home to be with my family, and also schedule spa appointments once a week to relieve some tension and general back pain from being on my feet all day. Exercise and bikram yoga is great too.
Thank you for this post!

Amanda @ Bliss said...

Great post, Lienne! I think it is important the we are reminded of these things form time to time.
When I start feeling the stress, I switch to something enjoyable. It doesn't matter if I am in the middle of a project or just ended a difficult phone call. I will move my mind onto something that truly makes me happy, even if only for a few minutes. I will read a chapter of a good book, take my dog for a walk, or maybe just sit in the sun with a good cup of coffee. Being able to decompress makes a world of difference and I can then turn back to my work feeling refreshed and level headed.

Mary at My Wedding Film said...

I do not have an answer to the final question you asked because I do not have a solution/tip for staying sane when things get tough, hence the reason I am so grateful for these tips! You are so insightful.

5Senses Events said...

This is a perfect and well-needed post. The cynicism is running high AND it's not helpful. Everyone needs to decompress, turn off the news, put down the newspaper, DETOX from all the noise and re-group.

We all have a choice, we can either be scared or be proactive. We have to adapt and overcome to make it through it all and it's a collective effort. It isn't the end of the world and remember that news people are making serious money scaring people . Problems are real but so is survival. We have no choice but the survive.

Juliet said...

Thank you for writing about this. Excellent post! My husband is also a business owner and tells me that, "the to do list is never going to go away completely...Take some time away from the computer and you'll come back refreshed and more productive".

What I do: I go to dinner with friends and have wine and talk about everything but business! It is definitely good for the soul!

jaimeson said...

love it! and need it!

i will be going out to the races {at Keeneland} tomorrow for some beautiful Kentucky weather and time to enjoy myself!

aaahhhh!

Amber Events said...

Wow. Liene. This blog post was awesome. I haven't been here in over two weeks because I've just been burned out with trying to keep up with my peers online, and just 5 minutes ago I wrote in my blog pretty much saying that I'm done playing a (attempting to be) perfect role. When I play a role I exhaust myself quickly.

Jessica @ Stella Event Design said...

Well said, Liene! These are all so simple but sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the downturn and forget to just be thankful for what we have and for what we get to do!

Renee Metty said...

Love it!

Weddings Costa Rica said...

Learning to say 'no' has been a huge step and I wish I'd taken it earlier. Passing on something is not failure - it's keeping your energy for something you really want to do. Focus on your core - for business, for friends, for family (that means lose the dramarama, emotional vampires). Life is too short to have bad days.

Erika Gregory said...

Love this post, Liene. I have unfollowed negative people from both Twitter and Facebook and blogs. It is so refreshing to read positive thoughts and help from people who really care.
Thanks for all you do!
Erika

Mark - The Queen of Hearts said...

Thanks Liene...

All things we probably know but never remember to put into practice as we plow through the day..

Thanks for reminding us

The Hidden Garden said...

Sanity....we all need some of that!
I JUST started leaving my blackberry in the drawer when i get home so i can focus on the "family" and not work. Out of Sight - out of mind (sort of). It's been working for the most part!

emily said...

This post was exactly what I needed to read this morning. I especially like though #3.

AstridMueller said...

great post, Liene - and always useful! Off the top of my head, I'd add: stay focused on your dreams and goals. There will always be setbacks, use them as inspiration.

Great vibes, Liene - keep them up!

mb said...

Thank you so much for this post!