5 Ways to Keep Your Sanity

Editor's Note: This post was originally published in April 2009. Some conversations with colleagues recently have prompted me to republish it. 

As I've been traveling for the Blogging Bootcamps, I've noticed a trend among the wedding professionals in each city.  Perhaps trend is the wrong word - it's more of a vibe or an attitude. Everyone seems really tired. Not physically tired, though some are that too, but emotionally tired.  I'd totally be lying if I didn't include myself in this camp as well.  Even on Twitter, people seem to be passing a cynicism-flavored kool-aid around.

It's easy, especially when the future seems so uncertain given the current economy, to become jaded, to let annoyances pile up, to react to the short-term instead of think through things strategically with the long-term in mind.  It can also be difficult to focus on your work when the reactionary decisions of your competitors, such as slashing prices (not a good idea, by the way) affect the conversations your clients have with you.

The downturn in the economy is real, and anyone who says it is just in your head is not very good at math.  The bright side is that it is not the end of the world.  History repeats itself and there is a light at the end of this uncertain tunnel.  If you can keep your mind and your energy renewed during this time, you will be able to fight burning out and getting a bit jaded with the industry.  You'll also be able to more clearly see the opportunities that are in front of you right now (and there are plenty of opportunities, recession or not).

Here are some tips on how to do that:

1. A Gratitude Journal
I've talked about these before, and I believe in them so much.  Take time each day to jott down three things you are grateful for.  You can do this with regular pen and paper or with the gratitude app on the iphone.  Yes, we all like to have our mini pity parties and no one is grateful 100% of time, but you can't keep that up 24/7.  Spending a few minutes each day focusing on what you do have (and it doesn't need to be material) instead of what you don't have will help shape your outlook.

2. Watching What You Write
While you may take note of a few things you're thankful for, it sort of negates the entire process if you then turn around and use Twitter or your Facebook status update to vent about every little annoyance. 

3. Unsubscribe from the Dramacolypse
While you should have people in your life who are willing to be REAL and not happy-go-lucky 24/7, you should also be careful not to surround yourself with people who are cynical dream-stoppers.  Sometimes this doesn't even mean people you meet in person, but can also include the blogs you read and the people you follow on Twitter. If someone gets under your skin or lives in your head "rent-free", as my friend Terrica calls it, unsubscribe or unfollow them.  Real drama is your friend who is going through chemo.  Unnecessary drama is the inane stuff people make up on Twitter because they are intimidated by other people's success.

4. Declutter and Streamline
The scientific law, Occam's razor, suggests that the simplest solution is usually the best one.  Getting simple, however, is not easy.  It requires being willing to let things go and to checking your ego at the door so that you can make things work for you without worrying about what everyone else is doing.  Take some time to evaluate what things or processes you can cut or simplify in your life or workflow.  This isn't a license to be selfish, but it is a way to evaluate what you need to do to simplify your life and your business.  What areas can you get simpler in?

5. Breathe
Create margin for your life. The easiest way to do this is to create some boundaries in how you work and when you are available to people. There will be some days that you have to work late and reply to emails at 2:00 am, but if this is a daily occurrence, it's time to slow down.  Slowing down can be difficult because it often means giving up the facade of power. It is also easy to justify our propensity toward a frenetic pace by using the excuse that we love our work. You should love your work. You should also love yourself and your family enough to keep your mental, emotional and physical health in check. Slow down. Go to sleep. Get some exercise. Take a sabbath day or afternoon to renew your mind and spirit (it doesn't have to be Saturday or Sunday). As the saying goes, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure".

What tips do you have for staying sane when the going gets tough?

Splendid Sundays Volume 7

A handful of splendid finds and interesting tidbits from around the world wide web:

*I adore biographies - real stories of real people - and am often creatively inspired by artists outside of the wedding industry.  I found this interview with fashion photographer Tim Walker fascinating.

*Laura Novak wrote a great post this week on her Strategy Avenue blog entitled, Watch Who You Follow. With all the pluses of social media, one of the downfalls is that it allows people to brazenly claim they are something they are not. Be careful to really evaluate the claims a business, marketing or social media "consultant" makes before hiring them to help you grow your company. Many people are following emperors who simply have no clothes.

*Interested in releasing a simple iPhone app for your business, but it's not complex enough to warrant an $800 per hour developer? Check out Swebapps, an easy - and relatively affordable - way to create an iPhone app.

*If you're looking for an easy way to sort your blogs and manage your blog reading but don't currently use Google reader and aren't familiar with RSS, Jenna Cole wrote a great post on How to RSS for Elizabeth Anne Designs Living.

*A judge recently ordered Google to reveal the identity of an anonymous blogger because they has posted content on their blog that was deemed as slanderous to another person.  Libel and slander laws apply to blogs and online content. Be careful what you write in a blog post, on Twitter, Facebook or any other form of social media. You can't say whatever you want just because you feel like it.

Do you have any splendid finds to share?

Tracking Your Twitter Influence

It's easy to assume that everyone on Twitter reads every update and clicks on every link you post in your tweets, but that is simply not true.  If you're using Twitter for your business, it's important to measure the reality of your influence and not rely on your perceived influence.

One way to track the statistics for click-throughs is to use a URL shortener that also offers analytic services. Bit.ly and Su.pr are two good ones, with Su.pr being the more detailed of the two as it is tied directly to the StumbleUpon community and offers more features.

For example, I recently tweeted about a particular blog post Marcy Blum wrote on wedding trends that she'd like to see die. I shortened the link to her post using Su.pr. From that I can see that the link was clicked on 558 times and retweeted 23 times and I can see the specific days the traffic was generated. I can even see who retweeted it and the number of click-throughs their respective retweets generated.

One of the interesting things about tracking this type of information is that it also shows you the sphere of influence other people have within your Twitter circle. In this particular case, it was interesting to note that some of the people whom are often not viewed as an "important" or "top" person in the wedding industry generated more click-throughs and interest with their retweet of the link than some of the other people who are often perceived to be more powerful or more influential.  In fact, many of the people who generated the most click-throughs had the lowest amount of followers of the group of people who retweeted the link. Influence comes in many shapes and sizes, and tribes do as well. Don't get sucked into the myth that you should only tweet with "important" people or that the people with the most followers are the most influential.

On a somewhat humorous note, in that tweet, I accidently typed Marcy's twitter name as @marcylu instead of the updated @marcyblum. While this mistake generated a link to a dead Twitter page instead of her live one (sorry, Marcy), it was funny to see how many people posted the link as if it was their own original tweet instead of as a retweet, but failed to correct the spelling of her name. 

Measuring your participation in social media is critical in creating an effective strategy as it relates to your business.  Do you have metrics in place or are you shooting in the dark?

Think Splendid News + Updates

Just a few short notes this week:

*If you haven't signed up for the Think Splendid newsletter yet, you can do so here.

*My book on marketing your business through blogging will be out on November 10th! I have moved from being excited (and relieved) to being downright giddy about it.  I'll be posting more information soon on where it will be available and how you can get a copy. 

*I've already written about it here, but as I have been packing up my office (yes, in the midst of all the craziness, I am moving), I came across some things from the very first Engage!08 conference last June. For many reasons the first Engage changed my career in a lot of ways, but two key conversations that stand out in my mind are one that I had with Sean Low that day over lunch and another one with Marcy Blum over drinks after dinner.  It was the first time I had met either of them and both of these conversations resulted in a paradigm shift in my thinking and my business changed immediately because of it.  If you are on the fence about going to Engage!09 The Encore, I encourage you to make the investment and go (and a plus - Sean and Marcy will also be speaking again).  Engage is not a how-to conference, and there are plenty of those available to also attend, but instead it will change the way you think - and in my opinion that is much more valuable in relation to your long-term success.  You can register for Engage!09 The Encore here.

Marketing to the High-End Bride

For those of you who work in the luxury wedding market, there are two books I strongly recommend reading: Selling to the Affluent and Marketing to the Affluent, both by Thomas Stanley.

Stanley does a great job at clearing up many of the myths that surround working with the wealthy, especially regarding their purchasing decisions and spending habits. Knowing certain details about how your target market buys and thinks through their wedding purchases can also go a long way in how you choose to write your blog (using and/or avoiding certain vocabulary, selecting which photos to share, etc) and promote your company online.

Both books have meaty insight, but if you only have time to read one at this point, choose Marketing to the Affluent.  

Have you read either of these books? What were your thoughts?

Splendid Sundays Volume 6

A handful of splendid finds and interesting tidbits from around the world wide web:

*As highlighted in this video below, 1 out of 8 couples who married in the United States last year met via social media (stat source: Socialnomics).  Is the majority of your wedding marketing still focused offline?

*Registration for Engage!09 The Encore officially opened on Friday. Once again, Rebecca and Kathryn have raised the bar and made it better than ever. You can learn more about this wedding business intensive and register here.

*While targeted at librarians, this list of 100 Useful Twitter Tools has useful information for anyone using Twitter.  Special thanks to Suzane for including one of my ebooks in the list as number 86.

*Design Glut - a site that focuses on the inspiring stories of creative entrepreneurs - recently featured this interview with Jim Coudal. The entire piece is interesting, but the most fascinating part, and the the part I related to the most, was the last section, particularly this line: "When you think to yourself, “In 18 months I’m going to start my . . . company,” the problem with that sentence is the 18 months. What you’re really saying is, “I’m afraid.” Do it now."

Do you have any splendid finds to share?

Jealousy and Success

Some people will . . .

• Always be jealous that you work smarter not harder
• Find a way to excuse your success
• Tell others that you are just lucky or that other people are just blind
• Do everything they can to undercut you
• Pretend that what you are doing will not matter in the long-run
  

Don't worry about these people. They're not the ones writing you checks.

Being awesome intimidates people. Be awesome anyway. As Marianne Williamson says, "There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."

Using Social Media to Increase Your Company's Value

Many companies who sell a product are generally reticent to attach their personality to it when it comes to the social media space.  They want their work to "stand on its own", or "people care about the product, not about me" are how the usual arguments go. The bottom line though is that in a world where competition is fierce, YOU are what separates your product or service from your competitors. 

Laura Hooper is a good example of this.  Laura is a calligrapher and illustrator whose wedding maps (pictured above) quickly went from being just one of the products she offered to becoming an industry trend largely thanks to the wedding blogging community.

Like any must-have item or service, her maps are now knocked off all the time.  Many calligraphers currently offer a variation of this concept to their clients, many produce work that looks decent and many offer them for a lower price than Laura does.

However, while Laura may have lost a small amount of people purchasing solely on price, the demand for HER maps has increased. 

By participating in the social media space in a real and authentic way, including showing a photo of herself on her blog and her Twitter page and not just of her products, people have formed an attachment to Laura as an artist and not just to Laura's art.  As such, they are willing to pay more for a Laura Hooper original. They no longer care about the product itself, they care about Laura.  It's not a wedding map they are after, it's a Laura Hooper map. 

As sales guru Jeffrey Gitomer says, "All things being equal, people like to do business with people they like.  All things being not so equal, people still like to do business with people they like."

What are you doing in the social media space to ensure that people are getting to know the people behind your company and not just the company itself?

The Four Hour Workweek and Blogging

This week I am in Norfolk, Virginia for the last workshop on the East Coast and last night at dinner with the workshop hosts, the book The Four Hour Workweek came up in conversation.  I wanted to share a couple of my thoughts on that particular book here, because like most things in life, they're not cut and dry. 

I first read this book when it came out a couple of years ago, and it did change the way I thought about many of the processes in my business.  If this book were a wine, it would couple nicely with The E-Myth Revisited, with E-Myth being the meal (and if you are debating between the two, read that one first).  One of the important things to remember while reading The Four Hour Workweek is to not throw the baby out with the bathwater.  I thought about one-third to half of the book was pure nonsense (ahem, having your friends do research and tell you who and what to vote for because you can't be bothered to follow the news and issues yourself? Puh-lease.), but the valuable content in the other half made the book worth every penny. 

One of the core values of The Four Hour Workweek is that it stresses the importance of delegating so that you have time to focus on what you love to do.  Even if you have an assistant helping you for less than ten hours a week, it frees up those hours for other things.  For example, yesterday I was on a plane or in airports for most of the work day, but administrative tasks such as handling certain email correspondence and other things of that nature were still able to get done because a part-time assistant was taking care of them.

As it relates to blogging, assistants can help you manage your workflow much more efficiently. I do NOT advocate ghost-blogging, and do not think an assistant should be writing your posts as you, however, there's no reason they can't size and format photos for your blog's layout specifications, go through draft posts and add the appropriate links, schedule those posts to go live on certain dates and times, etc.  I personally have a "to-do" folder in Flickr that I upload images to, and then an assistant, who has the account password and full access, goes in and edits them and moves them to a "ready to blog" folder.  This process makes it very easy then for me to just pull the images and insert them where I need to in each post. 

Have you read The Four Hour Workweek?  What were your thoughts? Did it help you get anything off your plate that you personally didn't have to have your hand in?

Workshop Updates

Just a reminder that tomorrow is the last day to sign up for the Blogging Bootcamp in Norfolk, Virginia this coming Wednesday, August 12th.  This will be the last workshop on the East Coast, and it's on the beach - yay! 

Next Wednesday, August 19th, is the Los Angeles workshop, and space is filling up quickly (this one is also on the beach! How did I get so lucky?), so be sure to sign up soon!

Plans are still being finalized for the workshops in Dallas and San Diego, so keep an eye out for more information about those to come soon.  Also, these are the very last of the workshops - I will not be doing any more after this, so if you'd like to attend, be sure to sign up for one of these four.  

Splendid Sundays Volume 5

A handful of splendid finds and interesting tidbits from around the world wide web:

*If you've had trouble updating your Twitter accounts this week, you may be surprised to learn that the reasons are connected with the Russian-Georgia crisis.  Facebook, Google Sites, YouTube, Live Journal and a few other sites were affected as well.  Twitterberry, an app for Blackberry, was apparently one of the systems hit the hardest. 

*In case you missed it, Marcy Blum launched her new blog a couple of weeks ago. Naturally, it's hilarious.

*Designer Kelly Ashworth is offering a special for the month of August that includes 1000 free business cards with the purchase of a graphic design service. If you need a new logo or just some new promo materials designed, this is a great opportunity. (Kelly is the one who designed the Splendid Communications logo and print collateral). 

*I'm currently doing a Twitter series with tips on using Twitter for your wedding business. You can follow along here, and the hashtag for the tips is #wedbiztips.

Do you have any splendid finds to share?

The Day Martha Stewart Emailed

I began writing my wedding blog in 2006 (which came years after I began a personal blog in 1999).  In the Spring of 2007, I received an email from one of the editors at Martha Stewart. She confided that she had spent far too much time at her desk reading through my blog’s archives and encouraged me to keep writing it.  The email included a couple of other paragraphs, but the gist of it was "what you are doing is great, keep at it."  Needless to say, her email made my day, if not my year.

Here I was, a young entrepreneur, hammering away at a keyboard every day and those random thoughts that made their way to the blog not only managed to catch the attention of an editor at a magazine that I had read and loved for what seems like forever, but had impressed her enough to prompt her to email me.

I learned quite a bit from that exchange, but one of the things that most stuck with me is that taking three minutes to send an unsolicited email of genuine encouragement can go a long way in helping someone’s trajectory in business.

Around the time she sent that email, I was ready to throw in the towel when it came to the blog. I knew from my analytics that it was reaching a large audience, but those numbers were faceless to me at the time. The truth is that blogging takes quite a bit of commitment (and if you've had a blog for longer than twenty minutes you are well aware of that fact) and I just wasn't sure that it was worth the energy I was investing.  Her email encouraged me to keep it going, and as an indirect result, I now have a book on how to market your business through blogging coming out in November.

So my challenge to you is this: take three minutes each Friday to send an email to someone you admire professionally letting them know.  It may be just what they need to hear at the time.

Featured Blog - Strategy Avenue

Laura Novak is one of those women who can seemingly conquer the world all while keeping her pretty manicure glossy and chip-free.  She is one of the kindest people you will ever meet and her quiet humor is as sharp as a tack.  On top of that she is a brilliant business woman.  And on top of that she is insanely talented.  It is a trifecta that has made her one of the most successful photographers today (and by successful, I mean by the business math, not by how popular she may be in the social media sphere).

In addition to her wedding and children's portrait photography, Laura writes a blog (co-authored by her husband, John) called Strategy Avenue.  The blog is actually an off-shoot of one of her companies by the same name, which provides business planning materials for photographers.  While the blog may be geared towards photographers, any entrepreneur in a creative industry can learn quite a bit from the business wisdom she shares. 

The Strategy Avenue blog is not updated frequently, but when it is, it is worth the wait.  You can catch up on previous posts in their archives and subscribe to the blog here.  You can also follow Laura on Twitter here.

The Next Big Thing

With the decline in popularity of Facebook and with Twitter showing signs of getting ready to jump the shark (if it hasn't already), people often ask me what the "next big thing" is in social media.  The truth is that I don't know.  No one really does, because none of us have a crystal ball.  Moreover, as long as technology advances there will always be a "next big thing" and yes, you will often have to keep up while learning to evaluate which tools make sense for your own business.

That said, a somewhat newish social media site to hit the scene is Posterous.  Posterous is ridiculously easy to use (post via email) and addictive. I've been playing around with it for a while, but have gone through and deleted previous posts so that only the ones from this past week are public.  (I know - how anti-social of me.) At any rate, I've decided that where this tool makes sense for my company is to blend the personal and business a bit more. I am using it as a place to share favorite finds, inspirations and other tidbits that may not fit the scope of the Think Splendid blog or Twitter. 

Posterous can host your own domain name (mine is FindSplendid.com) and can support Google Analytics.  While it can function as a blog on its own, I do not recommend it for that for the reason that you still have limited control over the look and functionality.  It is similar to Tumblr, but offers a bit more versatility and ease of use.  It is not a good substitute for Twitter because while it allows comments, it doesn't offer the interaction and conversation that Twitter has become known for.

You can check out Find Splendid here and the main Posterous site here.

Quick Exercise for Getting Through a Creative Block

Ever feel like you're in a creative rut? Call it what you will - writer's block, blogger's block, tablescape block, creative eye block, dark night of the artist's soul - we've all had our moments where we just need to push through and get things done even if our minds have packed their bags for a spontaneous vacation to Buenos Aires.

Taking an extra day off, going to a museum, taking a point and shoot camera out to a back alley to capture textures and color are all great exercises to get your creative juices flowing, but sometimes they're not feasible. Sometimes we just need our minds to hurry home in ten minutes flat, no time to dilly dally.

If you ever find yourself in a creative jam, here's one of my little quick-fix recipes for getting out of it:

1. Choose a blog that is ultra heavy on photo posts.  I recommend choosing a site that is not directly connected to the industry you are in.  For example, if you're in the wedding business, don't look at wedding blogs.   

2. Scroll through the pages very quickly.  Stop only when a photo truly catches your eye. 

3. Answer these questions, either in a journal, Word document or as blog post:

• What three things stand out to you in that photo?
• How does the photo make you feel? (cheesy, perhaps, but it works)
  
• What memories does it stir up, if any?
• What daydreams does the photo prompt, if any?

Here are some great blogs for a starting point:
Black Eiffel
I am a Greedy Girl
A Cup of Jo
Unruly Things
Forty-Sixth at Grace
The Sartorialist

What do you do when you're in a creative rut?

Memory Trick for Business

One of the things that tends to impress other people about me is my memory. I will often show up at a meeting with the other person's iced skinny vanilla latte in hand, exactly the way they would order it. While they can never figure out how exactly I remember their go-to beverage, I will share my little trick here:

I cheat.

I observe what others like or dislike (or I flat out ask them), I make a note of it, and then I review their file when I have an upcoming meeting with them or need to send a gift.

As for keeping files for people, this is really much simpler (and less big brother) than it sounds. I jot down their preferences in the "notes" section of my laptop's address book. This syncs with the iphone, so all of their faves and/or dislikes are stored along with their address and phone numbers in my contact list. This makes it easy to look up their preferences while I'm at the store or in the drivethru line at Starbucks.

Learning what other people like is really just a matter of paying attention in conversations, whether those conversations happen in person, on their blog, or on twitter. When you get back to your car after a networking event, take a second to write those points on the back of their business card or add them to the notes section in your phone's address book.

Because of this little trick, I know which type of wine a florist I work with often prefers, what types of sweets to send certain people as thank you gifts, that a colleague I see often is allergic to dairy, that another colleague doesn't drink coffee but loves hot chocolate and so on and so forth. It's also helpful to make note of the office hours of people you contact often (no sense calling them at 9:30 if they don't start their retail day until 11 am), the names and birthdays of their kids, etc.

You don't have to get stalkerish to obtain this information - just be diligent in noting what comes up in the daily conversations you engage in.

Do you have any memory tricks for business?

Splendid Sundays Volume 4

A handful of splendid finds and interesting tidbits from around the world wide web:

*In an effort to spread a little cheer when many people seem to carry such a glum outlook on life, two ladies are running The Bright Side Project. Under the tagline Sunshine Delivered Daily, seven days a week including holidays, they give away something delightful (currently on the list: the entire Reign collection from Smashbox Cosmetics).  I am obsessed with their concept and know they are going to be huge (much more so than they already are). You can get your daily dose of sunshine here.

*Sean Low's last day as President of Preston Bailey Design, Inc was this past week and his new company, The Business of Being Creative begins full time tomorrow.  If you're considering hiring a business consultant, spend your money on the best. You can read Sean's blog here (this is a link to the new one) and follow him on Twitter here.

*Read Write Web had an interesting post this week about how Sony chose to capitalize on the Wedding Entrance Dance on YouTube instead of demanding it be removed due to copyright violation of the unlicensed song that was used.  Kudos to Sony for "getting it" and for using social media well.

*Here is a thoughtful and thought-provoking article on real priorities over on the 43 Folders blog. I loved this quote: "You can’t “prioritize” a list of 20 tasks any more than you can "uniqueify" 20 objects by “uniqueness,” or “pregnantize” 20 women by “pregnantness.” Each of those words means something." Thanks to Suzanne for sending the article my way.

Do you have any splendid finds to share?

Lessons Learned

On Sunday I shared a list of 50 things a journalist had learned in his 50 years.  Here are some of my lessons from over the years.  The list doesn't include all of them, just the ones that crossed my mind as I sat down to write this:

1. God doesn't need a consultant.

2. Never doubt your ability to justify.

3. It's okay to question everything: your faith, your career path, your political views, your choice of friends. In fact, it's dangerous if you don't.

4. Erase the phrase "oh, they would never do that" from your vocabulary. People will surprise you. For better and for worse.

5. Bad things happen to good people. It's not always because of some moral failing or attracting it into your life because of emitting negative energy into the universe. Believing that you can control everything that happens to you is a philosophy of bondage, not freedom.  

6. If people are really concerned about you, they will pick up the phone to call. The ones who don't call aren't really concerned. 

7. Your mental health is important. We all have issues; some that we don't even know exist. See a counselor if necessary.

8. Life is not so much about being fearless; it's about moving forward despite our fears.

9. Good shoes make a huge difference and the money spent on quality is an investment, not a splurge.

10. You can't be responsible for other people's demons. 

11. There's always a deeper story. Ask more questions.

12. Saying "why me?" is the same as saying "why not someone else?".

13. Rocking the boat is not the same as throwing someone under the bus.

14. Jaded is not a healthy lifestyle.

15. Take people at their actions, not at their word. Hopefully the two will align; often they do not.

16. Learning how to take a compliment and accept forgiveness are just as important as giving both generously.

17. Comparing everything in your life to your "glory days" or a previous season will get you nowhere. Don't be Uncle Rico about things - move on.

18. If you've "arrived", you've settled.  There's always more to learn, more to explore.

19. Being "too busy" is a myth. We make time for the things and people that are important to us.

20. Trials make you bitter or better. How you respond is up to you.

What are some of your life lessons?