Splendid Sundays Volume 66

A handful of splendid finds from around the worldwide web:

*"Just because it's free doesn't mean it's a good idea (or a bad one). It means you should think hard about how everyone benefits (including you)."

*The owners of a bridal salon in Arizona were arrested for human trafficking.

*The pros and cons of online pseudonymity.

*Copyright protection: does it help or harm the bridal fashion industry?

Splendid Reruns: Thoughts on Leadership

On Listening and Relationships

I've learnt that people usually tell you the truth if you listen hard enough. If you don't, you'll hear what they think you want to hear. I've learnt that there is no currency like trust and no catalyst like hope. There is nothing worse for building relationships than pandering, on one hand, or preaching, on the other. -- Jacqueline Novogratz

Being Yourself

You're unique. You're not different.

Different is temporary and easy to duplicate. Everyone knocks off your idea, so you change your branding and company's identity. You go through a long redesign and now your website, blog and twitter background are decked out in pink polka dots instead of green argyle. You have a new logo, new fonts, and maybe even a new workflow system - more streamlined to deliver better customer service.  You're different than the competition.

Until the competition catches up. Suddenly, everyone's blog and twitter is now pink (or they all now have a "blog-site", even if it makes no sense for their particular company).  They also have a new logo and fonts (uncannily similar to yours - imagine that) and they've ramped up their customer service as well.  Everyone is now different - just like you.  You may have been first mover in the marketplace with your fresh look and approach, but you are no longer different. 

Instead of striving to be different, focus on being unique. Unique is you.  It's in your DNA, it's who you are. No one can ever copy your uniqueness simply because no one can ever be you.  They can try, but they will fail, because they cannot emulate your personality (at least not for the long haul), cannot bring your culmination of life experiences to the table, cannot see the world with your particular worldview or perspective.  You are who you are, and that is what makes you unique.

As it relates to social media, the entire focus of blogs and other outlets is to bring transparency to the person who is writing. Don't focus on being different, just be yourself.  Don't try to be something or someone you aren't, don't try to write or post like someone else because it seems like what they are doing is working, and don't try to be what you would like to be rather than who you currently are.  Just be the person that you are right now, in this season. 

Be unique. You already are.




This post was originally published August 2009. 

Transparency in Social Media

One of the driving forces behind many of the changes in business today is the consumers' demand for more corporate transparency and authenticity. This is often credited to the advent of social media, but in reality the demands come from a shift in how the post-modern and millennial generations view the world and social media is simply a conduit for their message.

Somewhere along the way though, people have confused transparency with laying all of their cards face up on the table. The two are quite different. One has a healthy place in business, the other is simply foolish. 

Trade secrets, client confidentiality issues, ideas and projects that are not yet "ready for primetime" should be kept offline. Doing so doesn't make you or your company any less transparent.

A venue charging for a preferred vendor list and hoping that the companies who sign up keep the paid relationship quiet from their clients lacks needed transparency. A wedding professional who receives free services in exchange for online publicity yet who never discloses the gift or discount lacks legal transparency. On the other hand, a company that keeps quiet about filming a television pilot or about getting ready to launch a new product doesn't lack transparency; they have an appropriate sense of timing.

Be transparent. Don't be stupid.



This post was originally published July 2010.

Matters of Opinion

Be a thermostat, not a thermometer. A thermostat shapes the climate of opinion; a thermometer just reflects it. -- Cornel West

How to Pitch Media and Get Results

by Julianne Smith

Everyone has a particular style and a way of doing things. There isn’t a hard and fast set of rules for how to exactly get your work published because everyone and every publication is different. Editors, reporters, producers and writers are people, too. They all have a different style. With that in mind, here are a few general tips for how to pitch the media and get results:

Be You
The best pitches are authentic. Things that are written by someone else, or too formal if that isn’t your style, aren’t as effective as words that come directly from you.

Skip The Press Release
Editors are more likely to respond favorably to personal, targeted and direct pitches. If you are sending a press release to a bunch of different editors you're essentially saying, “I just want you to know about my news, I don’t want you to actually write about my news.”

Keep It Short
Editors are busy, and while your news is the most important thing to you, your e-mail is probably one of a thousand in their inbox. Keep pitches short and to the point. If an editor opens up an e-mail and it is ten paragraphs long, they will delete it. Pack your pitch with important information and if they like what they see, they will seek out more.

General Outline
Whether it is an email or phone call, here is an outline for a quick pitch: Always start by introducing yourself; give a short description of your company; say what it is that you want; provide your website for more information; and attach pictures so the designs can speak for themselves.

Ask for Something
If you are lucky enough to get an editor’s attention, make the most of it. Why are you reaching out? Just to say hi? If so, that is a waste of time and, frankly, that’s what coffee is for. If you are going to take the time to pitch an editor, be sure to actually ask for something. Don’t be rude, but make sure it is clear what you want so they know how to respond.

Do Your Research
Before you pitch, research the publication. Find out the right person to talk to and the right concept to pitch. Read past publications and think about where your company would fit in so that you can suggest it. Look to see if they have submission guidelines and follow them. Hint: if they just wrote about your topic, they aren’t going to write about it again anytime soon, so think of something different.

Target
Seek out only those editors or publications that would be a good fit for your news. Sometimes it is more about saying your news to the right person or publication than what your actual news is. If it is the right fit, you will see results.

Follow Up
It can take a few contacts to get a response. Don’t give up. If it is a feature on your target list and you really want it, don’t just assume that they don’t want it if you don’t get a response. Keep following up until they say no or yes. You don’t want to pester, but be consistent in your follow up so that they know you are eager.

I could keep this list going on and on with different tips. But, the reality is that everyone needs to find their own style. It might take a few tries to see results, so keep practicing your pitches, fine-tuning your message and working on your delivery. If it didn’t work, ask yourself if it was the message or the messenger.

This post was originally published in August 2010. 

Valid Stubbornness vs Ego Stubbornness

Every business owner is, to an extent, stubborn. You probably wouldn't get very far in business if you weren't. Most new ideas are met with resistance, even the best ones. When shopping carts were first invented, grocery stores had to hire models to push the carts around so customers would see them, stop being afraid of something different than their hand-held baskets, and start using them. The customers were being stubborn out of fear. The store owners were being stubborn out of a need to increase profits.

Some stubbornness comes from ego. I've sadly watched companies close their doors over the past few years because they refused to try anything new when it came to business. Their newer, younger competitors used social media so to them taking a class on blogging was a step down, an acknowledgement that someone else may have been doing something that worked better. Digging their heels in because of ego left them ill-prepared to weather the storm when the economy shifted and many suffered irreparable damage to their businesses.

Other stubbornness comes from real vision -- a gut feeling that what you are working on is a big idea that has legs even when others don't see it. To me, this stubbornness is valid. It brings a willingness to be misunderstood for a while, a willingness to allow others to think you're just wasting your time. In the end, however, you have great results because you stuck it out.

The trick is being honest with yourself about where your stubbornness is coming from. Is it based on a dream that you believe can become reality or is it based on fear and ego? Don't underestimate the power of your ego as it will kill your business faster than anything else. Conversely, never doubt your ability to justify. Labeling each idea as not worthy to be pursued and never being stubborn about your valid ideas will also kill your business by causing you to stagnate.

The Role of Personality in Wedding Marketing

I collect chopsticks. It's one of those quirky things I began a long time ago as a tangible reminder of the places I've traveled. It's not something that defines me, and most of the time I don't even think about it -- it just happened to come up in conversation recently over sushi with friends. These small pieces that make up our lives aren't often in the spotlight, but they do come out in the conversations we have over time. They aren't grand philosophies, just little bits that add up in the sum of our personality.

When using social media for wedding marketing, I am not an advocate of being 100% business-focused. While I am a firm believer in boundaries (and those are different for each person), it is important to be a whole person, and that includes sharing some insight into who you are outside of your career. People connect over the dailiness of life. My most popular twitter post ever was a fleeting comment about buying my then 18 month-old nephew a new toy and him opting for the TV remote instead.

Part of a successful social media strategy for a wedding professional means a potential client sitting down in that first meeting and saying "I feel like I know you already." It's so much easier to close a sale when trust has already been established and, fair or not, trust is often tied to whether or not we like a person. Sharing a bit of your life allows people to know if you have the type of personality they're going to want hanging out with them for eight to sixteen hours on their wedding day.

People will do business with people they like, regardless of the economy. Give people the opportunity to get to know you a bit before they pick up the phone.

The Line Between Ego and Confidence

It’s difficult for some people to talk about themselves in a positive way. It sounds prideful. It sounds narcissistic. To some, it even feels morally wrong. Yet, in business you have to claim your accomplishments. You have to put yourself out there. After all, if you don’t believe you’re good at what you do, you shouldn’t be charging for it in the first place.

In my opinion, the fine line between confidence and ego falls in different places for each person. If you want your business to succeed, it’s important to find that line. True humility doesn’t hide its gifts.

Splendid Sundays Volume 65

A handful of splendid finds from around the worldwide web:

*The fashion industry rings in plus-size wedding dresses.

*Borrow it Bindaas is a new company that rents Saris, perfect for guests attending an Indian wedding.

*A controversial piece, but his thoughts on the power of community make it worth a watch.

*Martha Stewart Weddings will be publishing six times in 2012 instead of five, and the theme of the extra issue will be "The Best of Real Weddings."

Splendid Reruns: The Biggest Challenge in Business

On Setting Attainable Goals

It’s all about setting a goal that’s at the right intersection of ambitious and feasible. We do see the incredible power of setting stretch goals. But if you set a goal that’s really not within reach, people will just give up on it and you really don’t have a goal. -- Wendy Kopp, Founder of Teach for America

The Myth of The Self-Made Entrepreneur

Many wedding entrepreneurs like to think of themselves as self-made, but I am convinced that being self-made is a myth. Every effort we make in our businesses has help from someone else; no one has ever truly grown their business on their own.

Made a sale? It means a client trusted you enough to hire you to collaborate on their wedding with them and gave you funds to keep your business afloat for another few months. Gained press recognition in a magazine or on a blog? It means that an entire team of people - event designers, photographers, florists, linen companies, editors, assistants - had a hand in getting you that spot in the limelight and any resulting business from it.

The fact of the matter is that we all need each other. Also, because there is no shortage of talent in the wedding industry, we often have the choice to work with people we like. Choose to work with people who inspire you and help you create the best version of your work. Avoid working with people who are only "yes-men" - you can't grow without the perspective that a thoughtful disagreement or devil's advocate provides.

Remember the people who have opened doors for you, and more than that, honor them by opening doors for others who may not yet have grown to where you are.



Note: This post was originally published December 2009.

Using the Features on Google Plus

Yesterday I posted my thoughts on Google Plus for the wedding industry. Today I wanted to answer questions about some of the new social media platform's features.

Can the updates I share on Google Plus also post to Twitter or Facebook automatically?

If you use Chrome as your browser, you can use an extension called StartG+ that offers the option to automatically cross post your Google Plus updates to Twitter and Facebook.

How do I create a vanity URL for Google Plus?

Right now, you don't have the ability to create an actual vanity url for Google Plus itself, but you can create a vanity url that redirects to your Google Plus account. You can set this up in one quick step at gplus.to 

What does the Plus One button on Google Plus do?

The Plus One (+1) button is similar to Facebook's Like button. When you +1 something, it shows that you like it. However, unlike Facebook's Like button, the +1 button is also integrated into Google's search. The more +1's a page gets, the more likely it is to be displayed higher in the search results. Lots of potential to game that system, but it sounds like Google has some controls in place to keep it as fair as possible. You can get the code to add the Plus One button to your website or blog here.

What's a hangout on Google Plus?

A hangout is a group video chat feature. You can chat with up to ten people at a time. The person speaking at the time is the person who appears on screen. 

Can I use Google Plus as a blog?

You could, but I don't recommend it for the same reason I don't recommend using Facebook Notes for your blog posts. You want to own your blog. It should be a home base regardless of what other social media tools you are using. 

Can Google Plus be used as a project management tool?

Google Plus offers some features that would be useful for project management (circles, hangouts, etc), but overall it doesn't replace Basecamp or some of the other tools out there. It's just too limited as it is now and trying to use it as a full project management tool with clients would be a frustrating experience on both ends. 

Can someone see what circles I've added them to in Google Plus?
No. Your circle names remain private to you only. No one can see whether they are in your friends circle, acquaintance circle or a different custom circle you create (photographers, wedding industry, etc).

Can I add people to more than one circle on Google Plus?
Yes. You can add people to multiple circles on Google Plus. If you have business colleagues who are also personal friends, you can have them in both your business and friends circles, or whichever circles you choose.

Can someone see when I've looked at their profile on Google Plus?
No. You can't see who has viewed your profile on Google Plus and other people cannot see that you have viewed theirs.

Who should I follow on Google Plus?
Whomever you'd like. Google Plus is like Twitter in the sense that you can follow anyone using the service and receive their public updates. And, also like Twitter, they don't need to follow you back in order for you to follow them.

How do I block someone on Google Plus?
There are several options to block someone, but the easiest is to add them to your blocked circle or to visit their profile page and click 'block' in the lower left-hand corner.

Thoughts on Google Plus for the Wedding Industry

After playing with Google's new social media platform, Google Plus, for a bit, here are some initial thoughts:

Google Plus has the potential to be a game-changer but it's not there yet. Everyone thought that Froogle was going to change online shopping forever, but it didn't. Yet, people moved their email from AOL to Hotmail to Gmail, so Facebook being big isn't enough of a reason to deter people from switching social networks. MySpace was also huge and everyone claimed the masses wouldn't move to Facebook, yet they did. Currently, Google Plus reminds me of Facebook circa 2006 -- it's clean, it's peaceable, it's private. Whether or not it stays that way remains to be seen.

Facebook assumes that everything you say should be heard by everyone, which doesn't mimic how we have conversations in the offline world. Who talks about work all the time to every single person they meet? Sure, we all know people like that, and we can pretty much all agree that they're annoying. Most of us have interests outside of our careers. I have friends who I can talk politics with endlessly and friends who couldn't care less about the subject. Google Plus allows for these different conversations with circles. Basically, you can put the people you follow into circles -- friends, family, close family, extended family, wedding industry, etc -- and then choose which updates each circle sees. Don't want to share your vacation photos with everyone? You can select to share them with just friends and close family, but not colleagues or extended family. Don't want to bore your college roommates to tears with updates about your business? Share those notes with just your business-related circles. Another benefit Google Plus offers is that it allows people to be in more than one circle, so if you have personal friends who also work in the wedding industry, they can get updates from you on both areas. If you're as passionate about politics as I am, you can also create a circle specifically for running your mouth, which may be especially helpful with an election year coming up.

Perhaps my favorite part so far is that, like Twitter, you don't have to follow everyone who follows you on Google Plus. However, unlike Twitter, you can follow them and then add them to a circle that you can check as frequently or infrequently as your schedule allows. Tweetdeck allows for this functionality with Twitter, but I personally don't like using it. I'd prefer to have that functionality built in, which Google Plus does.

Google Plus is also a lot more private than Facebook or Twitter. You have the option to approve all tags on photos before the tag of you goes live. While your bio page stays public, your updates, photos, videos and followers/following lists can be set to various levels of privacy. Also, people can't see what circles you've added them to, so you don't have to offend someone when you relegate them to the "acquaintance" circle.

As for whether or not Google owns your photos, yes, right now their terms are written in a way that gives them license to use and sell any photos you upload. Facebook has similar terms.* Most services have these types of terms at first, and then they get changed. Remember when everyone freaked out when they thought Dropbox was going to sell your files? These terms are something to keep in mind, but not necessarily ones that should keep you from using the service altogether.

Do you need to be on it right now or can you wait since everyone you know is still on Facebook? If your clients tend to be early adopters, then yes, you should probably join sooner rather than later. If not, then it probably won't hurt anything if you wait. However, rumor has it that Google Plus will be introducing brand pages in the next couple of weeks, and if Google decides to give more favor to those pages in its search engine, then it's a good idea to have a presence there.

If you're on Google Plus, you can find me here.



*Update: I had earlier stated that Facebook had changed their terms, but here is how they are written:
For content that is covered by intellectual property rights, like photos and videos ("IP content"), you specifically give us the following permission, subject to your privacy and application settings: you grant us a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook ("IP License"). This IP License ends when you delete your IP content or your account unless your content has been shared with others, and they have not deleted it.

Splendid Sundays Volume 64

A handful of splendid finds from around the worldwide web:

*Stumbleupon sent more traffic to US websites in June than Facebook did. 

*Why some people have all the luck.

*A game changer for online TV? ABC moves some of their popular yet canceled shows online.

*A professor at the University of South Carolina will be knighted by France for her work in using social media to connect students.

Splendid Reruns: You Didn't Invent Weddings

On Competition

Any time a successful new business model emerges you’re going to see competition. We expect it. But we have a very strong base to build on . . . We keep an eye on the competition, but we’re much more focused on where we take the company next. -- Susan Lyne, CEO of Gilt Groupe

Scarcity, Success and Opportunities

I find it interesting how quickly we tend to cast our own dreams for success on others. I've never wanted the picket fence lifestyle. I've wanted to adopt since I was about seven years old. And I don't particularly care about being on TV. Yet well-meaning people always tend to wish me the best of luck on the very things I don't want.

When we assume that everyone has the same dreams we do, it's easy to fall into a mindset of scarcity. If she gets on TV, there's one less press opportunity for me. If he lands that gig, I won't get one nearly as amazing. The truth is that opportunities are everywhere, but when we view everyone through the lens of our own dreams we lose sight of the abundance the world provides. On the flip side, when we celebrate our different goals and dreams, it's a lot easier to be happy -- genuinely happy -- for each other's success.

Measuring the Value of a Book (or a Blog)

We all know that there's no silver bullet for building a better business or a better life, so how do you measure the value of a book or a blog? Here are four questions to consider:

Does it cause you to think differently about something?
A book or blog is worth reading if it causes you to think differently about something. Take, for example, The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferris. I would give this book an overall "meh" rating as I don’t subscribe to many of his views. However, Tim mentioned a couple ideas in the book that seem so obvious when pointed out, yet I had never thought about them in the way he illustrated. Implementing those ideas changed aspects of my business, earning me much more than the $20 I had paid for the book. So while I didn’t love the sum of the book, it was still well worth the money and time spent reading it.

Does it make your life better in some way?
Making your life better is a tall order for a book or a blog. Not every post or page should be expected to be life-altering, but sometimes you'll run across an idea while reading that literally does improve your lifestyle. I skim through a bunch of wedding blogs each week and came across this post on the Martha Stewart Weddings blog that talked about these sleep masks. At the time, I was having a lot of trouble sleeping well, and I decided to try them out. Unlike other sleep masks that smush against your eyelids, this one allows for uninterrupted eye movement during the REM cycle, allowing you to get the sleep that you need and all the benefits that come along with it (higher productivity, sharper ideas, etc). The editor taking the time to blog about a product that came across her desk had a profound effect on my life.

Does it save you time?
Some books and blogs are full of the author's original ideas. Some share information that could also be found elsewhere. Both types can be valuable, especially if the latter saves you time. I’ve read books that contain information I could have found for myself online. However, finding that info on my own would take me hundreds of hours. Reading the book takes me two. Sometimes it’s worth having other people synthesize “free” information.

How does it make you feel?
Does a book or blog leave you feeling empowered or belittled? If you read something that consistently leaves you angry or feeling low, stop reading it. The decision to vote with your pageviews or your wallet rests in your hands.

How do you determine the value of a book or a blog?

Splendid Sundays Volume 63

A handful of splendid finds from around the worldwide web:

*The speaker line-up for Engage!11 :: Cayman Islands has been posted. You can see the list and register for Engage!11 here.

*Hostess with the Mostess launched their new site on Friday, complete with a social platform to discover and share party and event inspiration.

*The Royal Wedding generated $31 million for the magazine industry.

*Stop trusting your instincts.

Splendid Reruns: On Perspective

On Unlearning

The illiterates of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. -- Alvin Toffler