Who They Are, Now

One of the best gifts we can give in conversation when reintroduced to people we've lost touch with is, “Tell me who you are now.”

None of us are the same person we used to be. All of us have grown and changed, having been shaped by the experiences that come with turning another year (or several) older.

If you’re still defining someone by mistakes they made years ago, chances are they’re still defining you by yours as well.

If you haven’t seen someone for a while and your paths cross, allow yourself the gift of being the first to extend the benefit of the doubt.

Originally published January 2015

Peacemaking vs Peacekeeping

Peacemaking requires honest and uncomfortable conversations. It requires initiating those conversations and having the courage to return phone calls or emails when someone else reaches out.

Peacekeeping sweeps things under the rug, out of sight, but never quite out of mind. Sweeping things under the rug only creates a bigger mess, allowing dangerous toxins to grow and multiply.

If your goal is to have richer, deeper relationships, peacemaking is the option to pursue.

Originally published March 2013

Working Smarter AND Harder

Working "smarter not harder" is a popular saying, but it's also a myth. The truth is that the magic to truly making things happen for your business is in working smarter and harder.

It's tempting to believe in a silver bullet or easy way out, but those either don't exist or aren't worth pursuing.

Yes, it is important to work smarter than we have in the past but success also requires that we work harder than we may have in the past. As Malcolm Gladwell says, "people at the top don't work harder than you; they work much, much harder."

Anyone who tells you that they achieved success by being lazy or working "just 1.5 days a week" is lying – either about the laziness or, more likely, about the success.

Of course you should set healthy boundaries when it comes to "work-life balance." Just set them with the full understanding that within those boundaries, you may be working more efficiently, but you will also be working harder than you ever have before. It is not either/or, it is both/and.

Sustainable success requires smart, hard work.

The original version of this post was published January 2012